Crazy Dream: How I Made an Escape Plan From a Cop Headquarters

office_glassThank you Modern DIY Decorating for the image

Whenever I take naps, I have the craziest dreams. Here’s how today’s dream went down:

I was at a party when a friend came up to me and asked me if we had any booze. I told him sure and asked him what sort of booze he wanted to drink.

“Scotch. Or Whiskey.”

I checked the various bottles we had and there was a scotch bottle but it only had an inch left of liquid gold. I told him that I was going to run out and pick up a new bottle since I owed him a favor.

At the liquor store, I browsed through their nice liquor selection when I ran into two friends that are headed out to a party (possibly the same one I was just at). They recommend me a particular scotch bottle and we’re on our way.

Dream skips forward (I don’t remember if I had actually picked up a scotch bottle or not.)

I had left the store and was heading back to the party when I spotted an old acquaintance that was now a homeless person. He recognized me and asked me for change. I took out a $10 and told him it was the largest bill that I had (I actually had a couple of $20s in my wallet but I didn’t know what he was planning on doing with the money). When I handed him the money, I felt a bad that I had assumed he would use the money for ill purposes because he looked at me so gratefully. I decided to ask him how he ended up on the street and we started walking. He mentioned that the old bar/restaurant that he worked in either a) went down in flames or b) they went out of business (can’t remember which was the reason) but the bar/restaurant wasn’t there anymore. At this point, we were hanging out in a dead end alley way as he was munching on some leftover pizza. The homeless guy asked me if I wanted to hang out in his car and I said sure. He started driving and we’re continuing our chat when two guys hop in the car, squishing me into the center. I start freaking out as they mention that the cops are on their tail. My homeless friend says that it’s no big deal and that he’s lost the cops before. As we’re approaching the exit of the public garage we’re in, a bunch of employees are spaced out in front of the exit structure and tell us that we cannot pass. Of course, my homeless friend doesn’t heed of their warning and drives on through. Thankfully, some of the employees jumped out of the way and no one was hurt while we careened through the exit. We noticed that were some cop cars ahead trying to cut us off. I start thinking about how screwed we were and that I didn’t want to go to jail for being a good samaritan.

Dream skips forward

We’re deep in this super fancy cop headquarters. The area that we’re in is set up like the letter “C”.  The office is super posh with the dividers made of glass and the walls being a nice beige color. At this point. we haven’t gotten caught by the cops but they’re still searching for us. I don’t want to go to jail for a crime that I didn’t commit and I make the decision of ditching the group. Of our group, there is a homeless guy and two very nervous looking guys. I’m the only one that is nicely dressed and I figure the cops won’t be searching for someone with my description.

I start walking down one of the halls and locate my chance to freedom. It was a customs area where you have to show your id, and then you’re free to go on your way. I head back into the original room to locate my wallet. I notice this short, pretty Mexican girl had casually taken my bag and was going to make off with it.  I nicely tell her: “Oh! I think my purse fell into your bag.” Realizing she was caught, she let me search through the bag until I found my wallet. As we’re ready to head out, a couple of cops come in. They’re all joking as they’re heading back to their cubicles. Somehow, the Mexican girl and I end up in a conversation with two cops and we both don’t want to get caught (her for stealing my bag and me for being around during the previous crime) so we gleefully play along as we’re making up this bs story:

Mexican girl: “I’m so and so”. (She states her name to the cops so I can use that information in my half of the made up story.)

Me: “(fill in name) es mi hermana. I was the one adopted into her family.” (Speaks more Spanish to my fake sister.)

Female Cop: “Aw, you must be a great younger sister.”

Me: “Of course. I’m the best!”

This conversation is going on for awhile and we’re really amazing at bs story telling. We’re just about to say good bye to the cops and leave the room when I wake up.

I kind of wished I had known what happened afterwards. I hope I was able to make it out of customs area and head back to the party.

 

Sleep Talking With My Boyfriend

cheese

The other night, I fell sleep super early because I was absolutely exhausted. I occasionally yell stuff in my sleep (usually at the younger dream versions of my siblings). That night, it was a bit different. Here’s how the night went:

Me: (puts blanket over my eyes and falls asleep)

Sometime later:

Me: (removes blanket from my eyes and sits upright in bed looking wide awake)

Talking to my bf: “Am I behind?”

Bf: (looks at me terribly confused) “What?”

Me: “Am I behind?”

Bf: “What?”

Me: “Am I behind?”

Bf: “Behind in what?”

Me: “I was behind last time.”

Bf: “Behind in what?”

Me: “Behind in cheese.”

Bf: “What cheese?”

Me: “You’re so confusing.”

Me: (lies back down and closes eyes)

When I actually woke up later that evening, my bf asked me if I remembered waking up earlier. That’s when he told me the conversation we had. My bf thought that if the dialogue wasn’t so funny, he would have been seriously freaked out (frankly, I would have been too).

We’ve both agreed that if I start sleep walking, he’s going to wake me up so I don’t crash into the heater.

 

Image reference:

Cowgirl Creamery

New Gaming Channel: Gamer Compatible

Hi guys!

In the past couple of months, I’ve been putting more time and effort into gaming and as a result, I had posted a couple of gaming reviews on this blog.

Starting today, I’ve created a new channel relevant to my gaming findings: Gamer Compatible. And with that, I’m porting my previously posted gaming reviews over to my new WordPress account: http://gamercompatible.wordpress.com/

If you’re interested in gaming or just like gaming, you can follow my new Twitter and Facebook account for more details: @gamercompatible. 

And no worries as I will still be posting on this blog. 

Thanks!

Crazy Dream: Government Killing Off Human Test Subjects

heart

I woke up at least 3 different times last night yet I continued to have my crazy, long dream. Here’s my dream recap:

The government is taking groups of 21 people and they are being “tested” on. In reality, each person is healthy though is assigned a different heart condition. To match their heart condition, the government would “test” on them and give them the malignant condition. The process would always kill the test subject to make sure there are no witnesses. I am chosen to be one of the 21 people and my designated heart condition is that I had odd, small bumps on my heart. I start panicking because I don’t want to die.

Next, I’m at my grandma’s house and am hiding in one of her guest rooms (this room is on the 18th floor and overlooks the beach). In my panicked state, I lock the door, fill up a book bag with my “cannot live without” items and get ready to make a run for it. I pull a large blanket off the bed, climb out a window, jam the edge of the blanket into the closing window gap and belay downwards. Fortunately, each window below is close enough for me to grasp and I make my way down safely. My feet pound towards the beach and I start swimming when my hands grab a large floating buoy. The next few scenes are of me navigating around looming construction boats in the ocean.

yellow_buoy

Eventually, I reach land and I run off to find a new hiding place. To my luck, I find an old bag of mine and start searching through it. A young kid is hanging around and I am worried that he is going to rat me out. His face looks oddly familiar so I ask: “Adrian?” He looks at me and says: “No, I’m Adrian’s younger brother.” I take an iPod out of the bag and give it to him. Then run off. The dream gets a little blurry and skips to me hiding out in a tiny house. I’m out on the street trying to my convince my mom to help me when a neighboring kid recognizes me and says with a sneer that “I’m one of the chosen ones and should get ready for my imminent death”. *Dream skips to a different scenario.*

At the marketplace, I am able to convince a friend to give me a ride in his car. *Dream gets blurry.* My mom and sister are helping me escape down a set of wide, concrete emergency stairs. Somehow, Adrian’s younger brother meets up with me and tells me that he really likes my songs on the iPod. We’re going further down the stairs, running from floor to floor and at one point, he gets distracted by a shelf of items. I tell him that we’re going to lose my mom and sister and grab his hand. My mom and sister’s voice are trailing off in the distance yet he keeps lingering the farther we go down. When we’re close to the bottom floor, he feels guilty and tells me that it was a trap.

I peer around a concrete doorway and see that my mom and sister are tied up, gagged and hung up on metal chains. They’re alive but frightened. All around the room, there are shelves of pots and pans and other kitchen utensils. The next warehouse area resembles a tennis shop. I sneak inside with the kid and open start opening tennis bags lying on the floor. I grab a tennis racket and tell him to scurry over to the tennis section to find me a second racket. He keeps pointing at items that aren’t useful and also points at a racket for little kids.  I gesture with my hand that I need a racket with a long handle. Seeing that it’s futile, I gesture him to come back. I grab a pot instead and tell him to arm himself. Two ladies walk through the concrete doorway and I inform them that this is *the* government facility. They become furious and are ready to join the fight. Two guys walk around the corner and the fighting ensues. The last thing I remember is swinging my racket around, hitting people with it and knocking them down. I woke up right before my next encounter with an evil blond lady by a counter on the other side of the room.

tennis_shot

The dream has me a little frazzled though this isn’t the first time I’ve had such an intense dream. Now it’s time for me to start my day.

I Probably Ruined GE’s Valentine’s Day Contest

GE (General Electric) is having a Facebook contest where if you submit a geeky poem, you can get a chance to win a free 3D rose for Valentine’s Day.

Normally, my rhyming skills are decent but for whatever reason, today is just not my day. Hopefully, my rhymes aren’t too offensive but in case they get taken down, these are my submitted poems:

GE_poems

Update: GE likes my poems!

3d_poem_response

 

Mission accomplished. What geeky poem would you come up with?

My PowerPoint for Gameguyz

960-550-GAMEGUYZ_02

A while ago, I did a phone interview with Gameguyz for their Game Content Editor position and the representative wanted me to do a review of their League of Legends portion of the site (including what new social media promotions I could bring to the table.)

I sent an extensive PowerPoint presentation via their Craigslist email address and patiently waited for a response. Two weeks later, I sent a follow up email, which was answered by a completely new person. “George” told me that the internship was still open and asked me to “write some sample of article about LOL game strategy or statistic report base our data analyst?”

Upon re-reading his response while typing it out just now, George probably could have written that a bit more elegantly.

Anyway, I followed up saying that I had applied for the Game Content Editor position and as far as I know, it wasn’t an internship. I also mentioned that “since my emails keep being answered by different people, I would appreciate a follow up email from an employee email address to keep all the information organized.” That was the last time I heard from anyone.

Since I don’t want my PowerPoint presentation to go to waste, feel free to take a look at it here:

gameguyz_feedback

Thanks!

My Answers to Uber’s Creative Writing Test

Job hunting is hard. And job hunting can be mind boggling when recruiters are vague upon rejecting your application.

I recently did a phone interview with Uber. I was extremely excited when the recruiter told me that she liked my ideas and hell, Uber would be an awesome place to work at. Following the phone interview, I was asked to take their creative writing test (which was supposed to take several hours).

After 5 hours of tears and sweat, I submitted my creative writing test only to be informed that my test results weren’t “quite where we needed them to be”. When I asked for a copy of acceptable answers, I was told that they couldn’t “pass along other candidate’s work”.

It is unfortunate and frustrating when companies sweep candidates under the rug without blinking an eye. Is it so hard to ask for a little feedback? It seems to be the case.

With that said, I would like to share my answers to Uber’s creative writing test. I’m quite proud of my work and I hope you enjoy it too:

Section 1: Marketing

“Category 1: A promotion focused on acquiring users for our low-cost option, UberX”

UberX Marks the Spot

Aloha from UberX! We love hearing from our fans so we want you to send us an online postcard of your favorite getaway spot. Through our Facebook event page, upload a photo of you and your Uber X and tell us why this destination holds a place in your heart. The top 5 postcards with the most likes will win awesome prizes. Good luck and bon voyage!

“Category 2: An on-demand promotion similar to Uber Ice Cream our Uber Chopper.”

Uber Presents Its First Blood Drive

Uber is partnering with the American Red Cross and Kara’s Cupcakes this week! Support this great cause by donating blood. If you donate, we’ll give you awesome Uber swag and a cupcake. Let’s make this the gift that keeps on giving.

“B) Laundry List: Create a laundry list of marketing ideas, whether an event/promo/etc. Include a 1-2 sentence description for each, topped off with a creative & catchy blog post title for that idea.”

Life in the Uber Lane
We’re offering a once in a lifetime ride in our sexy sports car. Sit back as our world renowned sports car driver speeds through the hills of San Francisco. Buckle your seat belt, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Treat Yourself to an Uber Shopping Spree
Retweet this post and the person with the most RTs will be our lucky winner! We’ll pick you up in our UberSUV and take you to the Stonestown Galleria where you can spend $500 on whatever your heart desires. You deserve it to be pampered.

Fall in Love with Uber
Share your love story and you could win a getaway for two to Napa. We’ll send you in style with UberLux and you’ll be whisked away on a romantic hot air balloon ride. Love is in the air.

Uber Bus Double Decker Fun
The xth user will win a sponsored party on a double decker bus. Invite 10 of your friends for a fun night on the town, Uber style!

“C) Practical: Find a bar or restaurant in your city that you believe would make a good partner for Uber. Talk with the owners and managers of that bar. How would they want to partner with Uber? What do they want in return? How would you structure this partnership to be most beneficial for Uber?”

Based on previous research experience, I would need at least a week or two to correspond with the owners and managers of the bar/restaurant (especially if the correspondence is done over email). My prospective locations included:

I called each location and was either told to send the manager an email or that the manager would get back to me. Here are the questions I have written up:

1. Are you familiar with Uber? (Any restaurants that were familiar with Uber would be given first priority).
2. If you could partner with them, what would your bar/restaurant be able to offer?
3. What would you like in return?

Section 2: Support

“Driver turned a two mile trip into an 8 mile trip. No way I’m paying this. Expect a chargeback and some posts through my social media channels.”

Hi (customer_name),

We apologize for any inconveniences this may have caused.

Our team will look into this issue and if we have any additional questions, we will contact you directly.

Thank you for using Uber.

Sincerely,

Your Uber Team

“Hey Uber, I had a really strange interaction with my driver yesterday. First, he was a bit terse and distracted when trying to figure out my pickup location. Then, when I finally got in the car, he got into an accident. I know these things happen. But the reason he got into an accident was that he was insisting on passing a water bottle to me in the backseat. I didn’t even ask for one.

The worst part was that he wouldn’t let me out of the car after the accident. The child locks were on. I asked to be let out but he said “No. It will only take a minute.” I asked one more time to open the doors, but again he said that he would be done in a minute. I felt uncomfortable at this point, so did not ask again. Could you explain how this behavior could come from one of your employees?”

Hi (customer_name),

We sincerely apologize for the recent accident.

If you are unhappy with your recent Uber trip, please contact the Transportation Provider as they handle official complaints and are able to take appropriate actions.

As stated on our Legal page:

“The quality of the transportation services requested through the use of the Application or the Service is entirely the responsibility of the Transportation Provider who ultimately provides such transportation services to you. Uber under no circumstance accepts liability in connection with and/or arising from the transportation services provided by the Transportation Provider or any acts, action, behaviour, conduct, and/or negligence on the part of the Transportation Provider. Any complaints about the transportation services provided by the Transportation Provider should therefore be submitted to the Transportation Provider.”

For further information, please visit:

https://www.uber.com/legal

We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause and thank you for contacting Uber.

Sincerely,

Your Uber Team

“Uber made my engagement last night! I was proposing to my longtime girlfriend, and I knew I needed that special touch. I ordered an UberBLACK for the occasion. I could not have asked for a better driver. He really made the event feel special. Thanks Uber!”

Hi (customer_name),

We are ecstatic that we could help you with your engagement! Congratulations to you and your fiancé. If you are happy with your recent Uber experience, please feel free to mention us on Twitter or Facebook.

Thank you again for sharing your story with us and we hope you continue to use Uber.

Sincerely,

Your Uber Team

Section 3: Analytics

“Which promo should we use and why?”

Option 1 -
1000 attendees
$10 off trip
1% redeeming promo
$20 average trip
10 rides/year
25% margin for Uber

10 people are redeeming the coupon * ($20 average trip – $10 off trip) = $100 for promo * 25% for Uber = $25 profit
10 people * ($20 average trip * 9 remaining trips) = $1800 * 25% for Uber = $450 profit
Total profit: $475

Option 2 -
1000 attendees
$15 off trip
2% redeeming promo
$20 average trip
10 rides/year
25% margin for Uber

20 people are redeeming the coupon * ($20 average trip – $15 off trip) = $100 for promo * 25% for Uber = $25 profit
20 people * ($20 average trip * 9 remaining trips) = $3600 * 25% for Uber = $900 profit
Total profit: $925

Option 3 -
1000 attendees
$20 off trip
5% redeeming promo
$20 average trip
10 rides/year
25% margin for Uber

50 people are redeeming the coupon * ($20 average trip – $20 off trip) = $0 profit
50 people * ($20 average trip * 9 remaining trips) = $9000 * 25% for Uber = $2250 profit
Total profit: $2250

Option 3 is the best promotion.

“If we want to return a profit on each rider within 6 months, what is the max amount that we would give on a promo?”

6 months = 5 trips per person
5 trips * $20 average trip = $100 total

Uber can create a promotion of up to $100 but they will not make any profit during this period.

“How would you think about increasing conversion? ["promo conversion"?]“

If a user spends x amount on a ride, Uber will match the amount in credit.

“Unrelated to the above table and questions:

Youʼve noticed that average trips/signup has gone down:

What could be causing this?”

Decrease in advertising spend or everyone already knows about Uber. Other possible causes: holidays or weather.

“How might you increase it?”

Increase advertising spend.

Holidays: Promotions for people staying in SF for the holidays/visitors

Weather: Appeal to people’s likes (e.g. if it’s hot out, air conditioned vehicles; if it’s cold out, heated vehicles, etc).

To view Uber’s creative writing questions, click here: CM Marketing Focused

To view my answers, click here: Uber Creative Answers

Thanks for reading!