Sleep Talking With My Boyfriend

The other night, I fell sleep super early because I was absolutely exhausted. I occasionally yell stuff in my sleep (usually at the younger dream versions of my siblings). That night, it was a bit different. Here’s how the night went:

Me: (puts blanket over my eyes and falls asleep)

Sometime later:

Me: (removes blanket from my eyes and sits upright in bed looking wide awake)

Talking to my bf: “Am I behind?”

Bf: (looks at me terribly confused) “What?”

Me: “Am I behind?”

Bf: “What?”

Me: “Am I behind?”

Bf: “Behind in what?”

Me: “I was behind last time.”

Bf: “Behind in what?”

Me: “Behind in cheese.”

Bf: “What cheese?”

Me: “You’re so confusing.”

Me: (lies back down and closes eyes)

When I actually woke up later that evening, my bf asked me if I remembered waking up earlier. That’s when he told me the conversation we had. My bf thought that if the dialogue wasn’t so funny, he would have been seriously freaked out (frankly, I would have been too).

We’ve both agreed that if I start sleep walking, he’s going to wake me up so I don’t crash into the heater.

 

Image reference:

Cowgirl Creamery

New Gaming Channel: Gamer Compatible

Hi guys!

In the past couple of months, I’ve been putting more time and effort into gaming and as a result, I had posted a couple of gaming reviews on this blog.

Starting today, I’ve created a new channel relevant to my gaming findings: Gamer Compatible. And with that, I’m porting my previously posted gaming reviews over to my new WordPress account: http://gamercompatible.wordpress.com/

If you’re interested in gaming or just like gaming, you can follow my new Twitter and Facebook account for more details: @gamercompatible. 

And no worries as I will still be posting on this blog. 

Thanks!

I Probably Ruined GE’s Valentine’s Day Contest

GE (General Electric) is having a Facebook contest where if you submit a geeky poem, you can get a chance to win a free 3D rose for Valentine’s Day.

Normally, my rhyming skills are decent but for whatever reason, today is just not my day. Hopefully, my rhymes aren’t too offensive but in case they get taken down, these are my submitted poems:

Update: GE likes my poems!

 

Mission accomplished. What geeky poem would you come up with?

My PowerPoint for Gameguyz

A while ago, I did a phone interview with Gameguyz for their Game Content Editor position and the representative wanted me to do a review of their League of Legends portion of the site (including what new social media promotions I could bring to the table.)

I sent an extensive PowerPoint presentation via their Craigslist email address and patiently waited for a response. Two weeks later, I sent a follow up email, which was answered by a completely new person. “George” told me that the internship was still open and asked me to “write some sample of article about LOL game strategy or statistic report base our data analyst?”

Upon re-reading his response while typing it out just now, George probably could have written that a bit more elegantly.

Anyway, I followed up saying that I had applied for the Game Content Editor position and as far as I know, it wasn’t an internship. I also mentioned that “since my emails keep being answered by different people, I would appreciate a follow up email from an employee email address to keep all the information organized.” That was the last time I heard from anyone.

Since I don’t want my PowerPoint presentation to go to waste, feel free to take a look at it here:

gameguyz_feedback

Thanks!

My Answers to Uber’s Creative Writing Test

Job hunting is hard. And job hunting can be mind boggling when recruiters are vague upon rejecting your application.

I recently did a phone interview with Uber. I was extremely excited when the recruiter told me that she liked my ideas and hell, Uber would be an awesome place to work at. Following the phone interview, I was asked to take their creative writing test (which was supposed to take several hours).

After 5 hours of tears and sweat, I submitted my creative writing test only to be informed that my test results weren’t “quite where we needed them to be”. When I asked for a copy of acceptable answers, I was told that they couldn’t “pass along other candidate’s work”.

It is unfortunate and frustrating when companies sweep candidates under the rug without blinking an eye. Is it so hard to ask for a little feedback? It seems to be the case.

With that said, I would like to share my answers to Uber’s creative writing test. I’m quite proud of my work and I hope you enjoy it too:

—

Section 1: Marketing

“Category 1: A promotion focused on acquiring users for our low-cost option, UberX”

UberX Marks the Spot

Aloha from UberX! We love hearing from our fans so we want you to send us an online postcard of your favorite getaway spot. Through our Facebook event page, upload a photo of you and your Uber X and tell us why this destination holds a place in your heart. The top 5 postcards with the most likes will win awesome prizes. Good luck and bon voyage!

“Category 2: An on-demand promotion similar to Uber Ice Cream our Uber Chopper.”

Uber Presents Its First Blood Drive

Uber is partnering with the American Red Cross and Kara’s Cupcakes this week! Support this great cause by donating blood. If you donate, we’ll give you awesome Uber swag and a cupcake. Let’s make this the gift that keeps on giving.

“B) Laundry List: Create a laundry list of marketing ideas, whether an event/promo/etc. Include a 1-2 sentence description for each, topped off with a creative & catchy blog post title for that idea.”

Life in the Uber Lane
We’re offering a once in a lifetime ride in our sexy sports car. Sit back as our world renowned sports car driver speeds through the hills of San Francisco. Buckle your seat belt, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Treat Yourself to an Uber Shopping Spree
Retweet this post and the person with the most RTs will be our lucky winner! We’ll pick you up in our UberSUV and take you to the Stonestown Galleria where you can spend $500 on whatever your heart desires. You deserve it to be pampered.

Fall in Love with Uber
Share your love story and you could win a getaway for two to Napa. We’ll send you in style with UberLux and you’ll be whisked away on a romantic hot air balloon ride. Love is in the air.

Uber Bus Double Decker Fun
The xth user will win a sponsored party on a double decker bus. Invite 10 of your friends for a fun night on the town, Uber style!

“C) Practical: Find a bar or restaurant in your city that you believe would make a good partner for Uber. Talk with the owners and managers of that bar. How would they want to partner with Uber? What do they want in return? How would you structure this partnership to be most beneficial for Uber?”

Based on previous research experience, I would need at least a week or two to correspond with the owners and managers of the bar/restaurant (especially if the correspondence is done over email). My prospective locations included:

I called each location and was either told to send the manager an email or that the manager would get back to me. Here are the questions I have written up:

1. Are you familiar with Uber? (Any restaurants that were familiar with Uber would be given first priority).
2. If you could partner with them, what would your bar/restaurant be able to offer?
3. What would you like in return?

—

Section 2: Support

“Driver turned a two mile trip into an 8 mile trip. No way I’m paying this. Expect a chargeback and some posts through my social media channels.”

Hi (customer_name),

We apologize for any inconveniences this may have caused.

Our team will look into this issue and if we have any additional questions, we will contact you directly.

Thank you for using Uber.

Sincerely,

Your Uber Team

“Hey Uber, I had a really strange interaction with my driver yesterday. First, he was a bit terse and distracted when trying to figure out my pickup location. Then, when I finally got in the car, he got into an accident. I know these things happen. But the reason he got into an accident was that he was insisting on passing a water bottle to me in the backseat. I didn’t even ask for one.

The worst part was that he wouldn’t let me out of the car after the accident. The child locks were on. I asked to be let out but he said “No. It will only take a minute.” I asked one more time to open the doors, but again he said that he would be done in a minute. I felt uncomfortable at this point, so did not ask again. Could you explain how this behavior could come from one of your employees?”

Hi (customer_name),

We sincerely apologize for the recent accident.

If you are unhappy with your recent Uber trip, please contact the Transportation Provider as they handle official complaints and are able to take appropriate actions.

As stated on our Legal page:

“The quality of the transportation services requested through the use of the Application or the Service is entirely the responsibility of the Transportation Provider who ultimately provides such transportation services to you. Uber under no circumstance accepts liability in connection with and/or arising from the transportation services provided by the Transportation Provider or any acts, action, behaviour, conduct, and/or negligence on the part of the Transportation Provider. Any complaints about the transportation services provided by the Transportation Provider should therefore be submitted to the Transportation Provider.”

For further information, please visit:

https://www.uber.com/legal

We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause and thank you for contacting Uber.

Sincerely,

Your Uber Team

“Uber made my engagement last night! I was proposing to my longtime girlfriend, and I knew I needed that special touch. I ordered an UberBLACK for the occasion. I could not have asked for a better driver. He really made the event feel special. Thanks Uber!”

Hi (customer_name),

We are ecstatic that we could help you with your engagement! Congratulations to you and your fiancé. If you are happy with your recent Uber experience, please feel free to mention us on Twitter or Facebook.

Thank you again for sharing your story with us and we hope you continue to use Uber.

Sincerely,

Your Uber Team

—

Section 3: Analytics

“Which promo should we use and why?”

Option 1 –
1000 attendees
$10 off trip
1% redeeming promo
$20 average trip
10 rides/year
25% margin for Uber

10 people are redeeming the coupon * ($20 average trip – $10 off trip) = $100 for promo * 25% for Uber = $25 profit
10 people * ($20 average trip * 9 remaining trips) = $1800 * 25% for Uber = $450 profit
Total profit: $475

Option 2 –
1000 attendees
$15 off trip
2% redeeming promo
$20 average trip
10 rides/year
25% margin for Uber

20 people are redeeming the coupon * ($20 average trip – $15 off trip) = $100 for promo * 25% for Uber = $25 profit
20 people * ($20 average trip * 9 remaining trips) = $3600 * 25% for Uber = $900 profit
Total profit: $925

Option 3 –
1000 attendees
$20 off trip
5% redeeming promo
$20 average trip
10 rides/year
25% margin for Uber

50 people are redeeming the coupon * ($20 average trip – $20 off trip) = $0 profit
50 people * ($20 average trip * 9 remaining trips) = $9000 * 25% for Uber = $2250 profit
Total profit: $2250

Option 3 is the best promotion.

“If we want to return a profit on each rider within 6 months, what is the max amount that we would give on a promo?”

6 months = 5 trips per person
5 trips * $20 average trip = $100 total

Uber can create a promotion of up to $100 but they will not make any profit during this period.

“How would you think about increasing conversion? [“promo conversion”?]”

If a user spends x amount on a ride, Uber will match the amount in credit.

“Unrelated to the above table and questions:

Youʼve noticed that average trips/signup has gone down:

What could be causing this?”

Decrease in advertising spend or everyone already knows about Uber. Other possible causes: holidays or weather.

“How might you increase it?”

Increase advertising spend.

Holidays: Promotions for people staying in SF for the holidays/visitors

Weather: Appeal to people’s likes (e.g. if it’s hot out, air conditioned vehicles; if it’s cold out, heated vehicles, etc).

—

To view Uber’s creative writing questions, click here: CM Marketing Focused

To view my answers, click here: Uber Creative Answers

Thanks for reading!

Infected, Zombie Dream

I had several really weird dream sequences last night:

A dad was carrying his two kids on his shoulders into a building. One of them was wearing my teddy bear’s hat. That infuriated me and I bellowed at someone to fetch it.

Dream shift: I’m in a wooden house with my ‘family’. We’re fighting over whether to use the peanut butter and jam bottle or not (top half had peanut butter, bottom half had jam). A lot of commodities are banned because they are considered fun commodities including the peanut butter and jam bottle.

Dream shift: I’m hiding in a cupboard as a friendly armed lady passes through our house. A second lady gets struck by lightening and goes through the motions of tearing at her flesh. She has these white, demonic eyes and rushes to catch up to the first girl. A guy enters the house and he has the infected eyes as well. Somehow, I escape while the infected people are attacking the others.

Dream shift: I try to hop into several cars and am finally able to make it into an RV. I scream at the Mexican fellow to drive as I toss the rest of my belongings into the back of the car. As we’re driving away, I can see the infected kids off in the distance. We’re safe for now. Suddenly, the driver goes around a left bend and stops in front of an elementary school to drop me off. I’m horrified as the infected kids start surrounding the car. I yell at him to drive but he insists on dropping me off.

Dream shift: Somehow, the Mexican guy is on a horse. I’m holding onto his horse and another horse because in my dreams, two horses are better than one. We’re galloping away in a forest while two infected kids are chasing us at incredible speeds. At some point, the Mexican guy and his horse disappear as I am slowly trudging through a dark and swampy area. I’ve temporarily lost the infected kids as I venture further into the swamp.

Dream shift: I’m running up the stairs in this building when I run into a guy. I start freaking out but realize he’s not infected. We hide out in a large pantry area that has a stable door. I lock the bottom half of the door and as I was reaching to lock the top half, another guy shows up on the stairs. I start freaking out again but thankfully, it’s one of his non-infected friends. At some point, there are four guys and me hiding in the pantry area and now, we don’t even have the bottom door closed at all. As the guys are chatting away, I look down at my hands and I have blood on them.

And that’s when I woke up.

Day 2 – Sushi Run

Dear Diary,

Ipod Song: “Yo No Se Mañana” by Luis Enrique.

A crisp 54 degrees and I’m bundled in winter clothes. Leather boots donned my legs as my tennis bag was slung over my shoulder. Hopefully, these thick layers will be my zombie biting salvation. Fortunately, no zombies in the bike shop. Christmas again?! I’ve always wanted a shiny new racing bike and a pink helmet. A box of health bars?! Don’t mind if I do.

Thinking on an empty stomach always makes me cranky and my day was going to be chock full of errands. Raiding a sushi shop sounds like a good idea. Let’s get our fill of sushi in before all the sushi in the world goes bad forever. Call me sentimental but I didn’t want to have another sushi craving for awhile.

Luckily for me, a sushi supermarket is located close to my house. Marbles probably would have had a ball there but he was too big for my bike. I poked a large enough hole in the window mesh in case I didn’t make it back and he needed to escape. Be safe, little buddy. I’ll be back before you know it.

5 minutes later and my shiny new bike is parked by the supermarket door. I pry the door open just enough so my body can squeeze through. My racket bag slides against the pristine floor. With a racket in one hand and a pan in the other, I ventured in.

As a sushi enthusiast, nothing is as beautiful as an array of sushi fish and seafood that is left unattended. The ice had not yet melted so there was still some hope left. I grabbed the plastic roll, tore off a bag and grabbed the nearest knife. It was magical and surreal as I was hacking off chunks of sushi: Sake, Maguro, Shiro Maguro, Yellowtail, Tai, Unagi, Toro, you name it. As I was filling up a fifth bag, I heard a distinct rustling. Shit, I can’t die in a sushi supermarket. More rustling. Adrenaline does funny things to you: your breath speeds up, your pupils dilate, your saliva production slows down or stops and your heart rate speeds up. Even through the five layers of clothing, a chill traveled down my spine.

One foot in front of the other. All of a sudden, a zombie popped out of the back room and lunged towards me. One swift forehand at his head and he stumbled. A second whack from behind. In the next instance, I was ramming the broken handle into his rotting head. Finally, he stopped moving.

A quick scan around the room as my breathing was slowing down. Another rustling, closer to the front of the store. I hastily pulled another racket out of my bag. My sweat glands were in overtime and my heart was about to jump out of my mouth. Right as I was going to whack the shaking plastic boxes, a puppy covered in dirt popped out. Poor thing, he seemed more scared than I. I bent down and took a look at the name tag: “Henry Stud Muffin.” “Good lord,” I thought as I mentally face palmed myself.

It was starting to get dark out. I searched the store and emptied a duffle bag. I stuffed the full sushi bags, several handfuls of pre-packaged Ikura, two knifes with coverings, a roll of twine, a pair of heavy duty gloves, fresh vegetables, a couple bags of chips and six water bottles into the duffle bag while I carefully put the puppy into my book bag. He was so tired, he didn’t even make a sound. I grabbed some of the twine and I forcefully tied two boxes of ramen to the bike’s handlebars. “That’s enough adventures for one day”, I thought as I biked back home.

Back at the house, I gave Marbles a huge hug and kiss. He was such a good boy. I closed the window that had been partially open and placed Henry in the shower area. After pouring two bottles of water on the little furrball, he was as good as new. With my remaining energy, I cooked us up a feast. Sushi, Ikura, vegetables, steak and ramen for everyone!

All this food was making my blood rush to my stomach and it has been hard to think straight. I tiredly check all the windows and doors before cozying up next to Marbles and Henry on the bed. Yawn.

Good night diary,

Samantha

 

 

Day 1: The Zombies are Coming

Dear Diary,

I know that I haven’t written a diary entry in years now but I figured I’d start it up again today.

Please don’t mind my terrible handwriting – my nerves are frayed and it’s hard to see straight when you’re crying. First, I’d like to give a shout out to my iPod Touch. Without it, I’d be listening to the terrible moans outside and I would have torn all my hair out by now. Second, I would like to thank Spotify for having offline playlists that work with iPod Touches. Without Spotify, I’d be be stuck listening to iTunes music selections from 2000. And third, I’d like to pat myself on the back for purchasing that solar powered charger last Christmas. Fuck yeah for impulse purchases.

It’s 6 pm or at least that’s what my watch says. I wish I could go to sleep but all I can do is rock back and forth until this wave of nausea settles down. Marbles is lucky. He finally exhausted himself and he’s sound asleep. He should have enough cat food for about two weeks but I’m not sure what to do then. The Pet Food store is about a half an hour walk from my house and frankly, I don’t have any handy weapons lying around the house (should have bought that baseball bat when I had the chance). The closest police station is about an hour walk and I have no clue what I’d do once I get there. I feel like the token Asian for a bad horror movie.

Electricity and water are still running. I don’t suspect this will last for long. I need to add a camping burner to my list of things to procure.

Here’s my list so far:

*camping burner
*cat food
*waterproof matches
*baseball bat or other interesting weapon choice (machete? gun? flamethrower?)
*gauze/band aids
*fish hooks
*beef jerky
*ramen
*vegetables and fruit (underrated in a zombified world)
*large water container (preferably a portable basin)
*duct tape
*batteries
*first aid kit
*toothpaste
*trash bags
*paperback books (they’re lighter than hardcover books)

I have absolutely no clue as to how I plan on getting to the store or back in one piece. Once again, I wish my boyfriend and I had saved enough money and moved into an apartment with a bathtub. As a kid that has lived through annual hurricane seasons, bathtubs are handy when you want to consolidate water. Since I’ll have to make do, I have filled up every bucket, pot, bottle and solid container in the house with water. I’ll probably be good for a couple of days. As for food, I have enough pasta and udon to feed a car full of clowns for a month. I’ll need to cook all of the meat in the fridge before the electricity powers off.

Yes, I know I’m blabbing. I’m scared shitless. My boyfriend is still out there and I have no clue if I’ll ever see him again. He forgot to charge his phone last night and his phone died before the shit storm occurred. I wish he was here. He’d know what to do. He always knows what to do. I fucking miss him and I’m going to start crying again. At this rate, I’ll die of dehydration rather than from a zombie bite. Wouldn’t that be ironic. I wish I could tell him that I love him. Fuck, I’m crying.

Let’s talk about what happened. Movies and pop culture refer to them as zombies or ‘the walking dead’. They always tell you the origins of the zombies, how it occurred, what happens when zombies are loose and basically, pokes fun at the remaining survivors. Unfortunately, most zombie movies/books/comics don’t have a nice fairy tale ending.

We’ll go back to earlier in the day. One second, I was making breakfast, the next, a blood curling scream. I rushed over to the window and saw a bloody lifeless body on the road several blocks away. People had rushed out of their cars and were staring at the pool of blood that was expanding at an alarming rate. Someone started frantically yelling for an ambulance even though we all somehow knew that the person was probably dying. People starting sobbing as others finally snapped to and were calling for help. At that point, I suddenly smelled smoke in the house as I rushed to turn the stove off. Damn it. I burnt my eggs. I rushed back to the window right when the screaming started again. Everyone was running away like ants pouring out of an anthill. I didn’t understand what was happening at first until I realized that there were new bodies on the ground and were coming back to life. No one loses that much blood and lives to tell the tale. Fuck me. I just about crapped my pants.

I locked all the doors, made sure all the windows were closed and have been waiting ever since. I can hear my upstairs neighbors whimpering whenever my music gets too quiet. If I didn’t think I’d attract zombies, I’d tell them to pipe down. We’re all doomed.

Well, diary, today was damn shitty. I’m going to find my boyfriend if it’s the last thing I do and then we’ll get the items on my list before things get even worse. If God wants to show up, I wouldn’t object to a gun falling out of the sky. Or two.

Good night,

Samantha

11-16-11 Intense dream

First dream, I was at an arcade and the janitor was turning off the machines. I calculated that the most tickets one could win from a game was 26, which meant I to obtain all of these tickets in one sitting, I had to play a basketball game. I found a kiddy basketball game and I kept leaning over to place the ball in the hoop. At the end of the game, the machine started spitting out tickets and stated that it couldn’t spit out anymore tickets. I was happy because I got the 26 tickets that I wanted.

Second dream, I was at school getting ready to take a test. I was looking at the back of a notebook when I realized that someone had printed information in it. A dangerous person was impersonating my brother and I needed to do something with this information.

The dream switches over to my grandmother’s place. My family and I are in the apartment. The front wooden door has a gated door and both doors are wide open. A menacing guy down the hall is walking towards us. I tell my dad that we need to lock the doors immediately but we have no way to lock the gated door. Panic starts creeping in as we attempt to lock the wooden door. In the mean time, another guy had broken in downstairs and is making his way up the stairs. In my panic state, I am trying to take photos with my phone of the incriminating evidence saved on an old school phone. I was considering sending myself a copy of the text to my email but realized it might get deleted by the bad guys.

Dream sequence skips over to my family and I rushing to get into a green punch buggy. In my dream, I’ve realized that punch buggys do not have nearly enough room for five people.

Skip scenes again and we’re now in a supermarket. I take out all the money I have in my pocket and purchase $10 worth of pink train tickets from an atm. I usher my family out of the supermarket. I have an empty bookbag and a cooler with me. I rapidly start piling food and drink items into them. I am able to pack a liter of water, one container of juice (the top to the other container of juice was broken) and some other items including a plastic bag with three slightly decaying apples and a bruised mango. I search the fridge but I don’t find anything edible that will keep very long that doesn’t need cooking. I find a pantry full of asian foods. It hits me that packaged ramen and sealed noodles are the best preserved foods and I grab as many as I can. I also take a couple of panda cookies filled with chocolate to liven up everyone’s spirit. I notice a row of mini milk cartons but I don’t have anymore room in my bag. My dad comes over to tell me that we need to go. I run off with my weightless backpack and cooler and rush towards the train station next door.

Whenever I have these kind of dreams, I always wake up with tired legs.

Take 2: My ‘Mostly Vegetarian/Pescetarian’ Diet

As posted in Wikipedia: “The word meat comes from the Old English word mete, which referred to food in general.”

How much meat do you eat daily? Weekly? Monthly?

We mass produce meat in animal factories and we consume more meat than necessary. Supermarkets supply meat in bulk. Every restaurant has a plethora of meat options. Asian restaurants, such as Vietnamese cuisine, serve primarily meat dishes.

Like millions of other people, I am a gluttonous carnivore. As @mattknox likes to say, “I only eat animals that eat other animals.”

My goal was to survive a whole month eating significantly less meat.

As one who eats meat at every meal, it’s a bit challenging being on a ‘mostly vegetarian/pescetarian’ diet. It’s like telling a junkie that their dealer is going on vacation or telling a kid not to eat said marshmallow.

My experimental diet consisted of consuming less meat: more vegetables and more seafood. A similar diet is the paleolithic diet. I did not want my diet to be as strict (no grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar, and processed oils) so I modified it to my liking.

First step: finding restaurants that serve vegetarian/pescetarian dishes. Second step: finding a restaurant that actually serves good tasting food. And third step: finding these restaurants in your area.

One of the things that I noticed is that most vegetarian/pescetarian dishes are fried:

Fried tofu, fried calamari, fried spring rolls.

The best way to avoid these unhealthy dishes is to cook your own food rather than dine out.

Within a week, my body felt less bogged down and cleaner. I felt more refreshed and sticking to vegetables was getting easier everyday.

I was only able to keep up with the ‘mostly pescetarian’ diet for two weeks. I tend to forget that I’m anemic. Anemia is a condition where the body is not able to produce enough red blood cells to carry iron and oxygen to your system. With the decrease of meat in my diet, I experienced fatigue, dizziness and often times, would feel confused.

I am now back on my carnivore regimen and am looking to modify it again in the near future to a more balanced diet.