Last Sunday, I played dodgeball. Back in NY, I had played on a weekly basis when I was a Crunch Fitness member. I learned of this new dodgeball session during a drunken discussion with my friend’s friend. I then vowed that I would make it to the next dodgeball showdown.
First tip: do not wear anything short, like a tank top even if you have a jacket over it. The gravel that you are playing on shows no mercy. It is best to wear long fitting jeans with knee pads (not necessary but great for any potential falling or skidding on the hard surface) and a not-so baggy shirt so it does not open up like an umbrella when you are on the go.
Second, if you have bangs or long hair, headbands are the shit. Better to wear a headband than to get whacked in the face due to your limited peripheral vision.
Third, stretch. And when I say stretch, your muscles should feel like melted butter or you will be retardedly sore the following day, so sore that your muscles scream in pain with every little movement you make and you’ll be wanting a nurse to help you wipe your butt after it takes five excruciating minutes to sit down on the toilet.
Fourth piece of advice is to remember is to bring water. Hydration is crucial and your body will graciously thank you after the two hour grueling match.
Fifth, wet dodgeballs are suck. When you try to throw them, they like to spin out of your hand and make you weaponless so dry that mother fucker and game on.
And sixth, have fun. The reason why adults still play dodgeball is because when you eat enough of your veggies and you grow up big and strong, the game is way more intense and just that much more awesome.
That night, there were a total of twelve players with me being the only girl. We got separated into two teams of six. Each team started off by touching the warehouse wall and then running towards the shiny dodgeballs sitting by the imaginary center line. Head shots are not acceptable and if you catch a ball in midair or one that bounces off something or someone before it hits the ground, the thrower was out and the catcher could bring a teammate back in. Also, if you are holding a ball and someone from the opposing team knocks it out of your hands, you are still in. And we have our special ‘one on one’ rule. When only one person from each team is left, the two remaining players can cross the imaginary center line and whack their opponent. This gets gruesome for a lot of the games ended with the players being four feet away from each other.
I was the weakest link and I will admit that I do not have the strongest throwing arm. But I did have some fucking awesome dodges. During the beginning of one of the games, as I was walking back from the initial sprint, the opposing team threw three balls at me, one after another. My teammates yelled at me to watch out and I dodged all three and I got back to my side safe and sound. There was plenty of hooting and hollering.
I had a couple of other awesome dodges that made my back curve in weird ways that I had never attempted before. During the last match we played: the pride match, I was somehow the last person left on my team. It was me vs. three guys and all I could think of was ‘Oh shit.’ I was able to divert three balls and I dodged one more before I got taken out. I did not win the game but I felt it did not end too shabby.
On a quick recap of personal injuries, during the first game, as I was sprinting towards the ball, I collided into the opposing dodgeball member and smacked my left knee in the gravel (I obtained a nice bruise from that). Another injury happened during one game when I was moving back from the sprint and I crashed into a teammate of mine and fell. There was a third incident where as I was scrambling back to get a ball and the gravel gave way under my shoes and I slipped and fell. My jacket and tank top slid up so the gravel had easy access to my back.
I’ve got to say, I love dodgeball. At the end of this fierce battle, even though I was purely exhausted, my adrenaline was still pumping like crazy and I felt I had proved myself worthy to be hanging with the guys. Shit, I can’t wait until next Sunday.
*Come to Carolina St between 15th and 16th at 10pm on Sundays. This sport is not for the faint of heart. We also have a facebook group. Search for “Carolina Street Dodgeball.” See you there.