The Carolina Sunday Dodgeball Special

Last Sunday, I played dodgeball. Back in NY, I had played on a weekly basis when I was a Crunch Fitness member. I learned of this new dodgeball session during a drunken discussion with my friend’s friend. I then vowed that I would make it to the next dodgeball showdown.

First tip: do not wear anything short, like a tank top even if you have a jacket over it. The gravel that you are playing on shows no mercy. It is best to wear long fitting jeans with knee pads (not necessary but great for any potential falling or skidding on the hard surface) and a not-so baggy shirt so it does not open up like an umbrella when you are on the go.

Second, if you have bangs or long hair, headbands are the shit. Better to wear a headband than to get whacked in the face due to your limited peripheral vision.

Third, stretch. And when I say stretch, your muscles should feel like melted butter or you will be retardedly sore the following day, so sore that your muscles scream in pain with every little movement you make and you’ll be wanting a nurse to help you wipe your butt after it takes five excruciating minutes to sit down on the toilet.

Fourth piece of advice is to remember is to bring water. Hydration is crucial and your body will graciously thank you after the two hour grueling match.

Fifth, wet dodgeballs are suck. When you try to throw them, they like to spin out of your hand and make you weaponless so dry that mother fucker and game on.

And sixth, have fun. The reason why adults still play dodgeball is because when you eat enough of your veggies and you grow up big and strong, the game is way more intense and just that much more awesome.

That night, there were a total of twelve players with me being the only girl. We got separated into two teams of six. Each team started off by touching the warehouse wall and then running towards the shiny dodgeballs sitting by the imaginary center line. Head shots are not acceptable and if you catch a ball in midair or one that bounces off something or someone before it hits the ground, the thrower was out and the catcher could bring a teammate back in. Also, if you are holding a ball and someone from the opposing team knocks it out of your hands, you are still in. And we have our special ‘one on one’ rule. When only one person from each team is left, the two remaining players can cross the imaginary center line and whack their opponent. This gets gruesome for a lot of the games ended with the players being four feet away from each other.

I was the weakest link and I will admit that I do not have the strongest throwing arm. But I did have some fucking awesome dodges. During the beginning of one of the games, as I was walking back from the initial sprint, the opposing team threw three balls at me, one after another. My teammates yelled at me to watch out and I dodged all three and I got back to my side safe and sound. There was plenty of hooting and hollering.

I had a couple of other awesome dodges that made my back curve in weird ways that I had never attempted before. During the last match we played: the pride match, I was somehow the last person left on my team. It was me vs. three guys and all I could think of was ‘Oh shit.’ I was able to divert three balls and I dodged one more before I got taken out. I did not win the game but I felt it did not end too shabby.

On a quick recap of personal injuries, during the first game, as I was sprinting towards the ball, I collided into the opposing dodgeball member and smacked my left knee in the gravel (I obtained a nice bruise from that). Another injury happened during one game when I was moving back from the sprint and I crashed into a teammate of mine and fell. There was a third incident where as I was scrambling back to get a ball and the gravel gave way under my shoes and I slipped and fell. My jacket and tank top slid up so the gravel had easy access to my back.

I’ve got to say, I love dodgeball. At the end of this fierce battle, even though I was purely exhausted, my adrenaline was still pumping like crazy and I felt I had proved myself worthy to be hanging with the guys. Shit, I can’t wait until next Sunday.

*Come to Carolina St between 15th and 16th at 10pm on Sundays. This sport is not for the faint of heart. We also have a facebook group. Search for “Carolina Street Dodgeball.” See you there.

The Old Gaming Days

I was reminiscing about the old gaming days, the days when you had to log out of the Windows screen to play your favorite games. I remember having two versions of Oregon Trail . Everyone and their mom is familiar with the strategies about whether to caulk your wagon or pay the $3 to float the damn thing. I also remember playing the first Warcraft and how you built three farms to complete a mission and you couldn’t scroll around the screen because that was the entire map. I had other obscure games like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and the Logical Journey of Zoombinis among my collection.

Logical Journey of Zoombinis was probably one of the best and most addicting games I had played as a kid. Some of the mystique was because my mom promised me that she would give me something awesome if I finished it. I remember our old computer getting swapped for a better one but when I had tried to play my game, I couldn’t because the computer specs were too high. Since then, there have been many restless nights where I had dreamed of getting this fantastical prize. Not too long ago, I asked my mom what I would have won had I finished the game. My mom had no clue and dismissed this as something trivial but to me, it had meant a lot. A little bit of hope died that day.

I also played games that required some minute level of skill or effort like Mario’s Teaches Typing. I remember playing online games like chess on my now non-existent AOL account. I soon evolved to playing Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne and games like Command and Conquer but my dell died and I switched to a mac. I now mainly play online strategy/action/adventure flash games. Every so often, though, I long for the old days, my old PC gaming days and I pray that my old outdated games are being made into iphone apps so that future generations can enjoy it as much as I did.

Ode to Bacon

I meant to read this at bacon camp that just happened today but I have stage fright and my friend told me that they might not have time for more presentations so I figured posting it would be good enough. Enjoy.

It is 2 am and I silently tip toe into the kitchen. I approach the holy temple and I carefully open it. My eyes wander over the plentiful feast in front of me and then I spot my precious gem. With trembling hands, I remove it from the fridge and lay its succulent body on the counter. Like a kid running to open Christmas presents, I search for the corn meal and plop a handful on a plate. I turn the stove on and with a chuckle, I go on the ultimate bacon frenzy: I am picking up slabs of bacon and placing them in the cornmeal. It needs to be covered in as much crack as possible before dumping them onto the the sizzling hot pan. My five pieces are turning a brilliant red and its thick aroma lingers in the air. My mouth waters in anticipation as I place the first ones onto a plate covered with napkins. I continue slapping on more pieces of bacon on the fiery hot grill and fill the plate with piles and piles of yummy goodness. I run out of bacon and exhausted, I turn off the stove. I take my plate over to the table and grab a carton of Orange Juice on the way. I am ready to be your slave. I want you to take me on the wonderful bacon journey of perfect happiness. I want to love you forever. I delicately place the first piece in my mouth and I start chewing. Emotions flood my system and I start crying in ecstasy as the juicy bacon nectar wrapped in crispy cornmeal flavors dance sinfully on my tongue. I savor every bite and lick the last bits off my fingers. I pick up a second piece and then a third. My stomach gurgles in approval while my loins yearn for more. I chug the Orange Juice to both quench my thirst and to clean my palate for each round. And so I eat and eat and eat. I don’t know how much time passes but I don’t care because I am filled with such joy. I hear a gasp and I awaken from my trance. I look up to see my girlfriend standing in the doorway. I raise my hands covered in bacon guilt as I try to explain to her that it is not what it looks like. She trembles and yells ‘How could you?’ Before I am able to respond, she runs away and I can hear her tears pitter patter across the hardwood floor. I am dazed, not knowing what to do. I get out of my seat, ready to go comfort her but then a voice tells me to finish the bacon. I sit back down and I think: ‘Is it really worth it? Should I be eating this piece of bacon?’ And then, I put the next piece in my mouth.

Showing the World: One Day at a Time

I am a stubborn mother fucker and I know it. Most of my friends know this. I do not plan on changing my behavior anytime soon. There are few times I compromise in situations. I prefer employing the ‘all or nothing’ strategy. In this case, I get what I want or look for it elsewhere.

After reading that, some people probably think I am crazy. I already know people that think I am crazy for not taking up opportunities just because it compromises who I am and what I believe in. Like how people are passionate about religion, I am passionate about my core beliefs.

Yes, I know that by having so many requirements I am limiting myself. I am possibly hindering myself from growing faster but I enjoy being different and I do not want to change this part of me. I thrive on proving people wrong because I know through perseverance and hard work, I can get what I want. Sure, it may take a bit longer but when I want something, I make sure I get the results that I want.

I am not entirely crazy. Eventually, I plan to start a company and if I am offered a large sum of money in exchange for selling it, I will weigh the options and make a rational decision. In this scenario, the welfare of others in addition to the future of the company are large deciding factors so I need to consider these as well. In reality though, my current decisions only affect me so I play by different rules. I am the only one facing the consequences. so I will play the ‘all or nothing’ game and I aim to win.

My favorite thing to tell my friends is that I know I will eventually become famous or infamous. And in due time, I I will be worth something. Until then, I will try my hardest to be the awesome person I know I can be.

* If my constant swearing bothers you, don’t read my blog. On the other hand, if you enjoy me swearing like a pirate (and I plan on doing a lot more of it), then keep reading. I like having readers. Even though I am writing for the sake of staying sane, I like knowing that people may care about what I write.

Thanks,
Cristina

Fuck Yeah for March 6: Watchmen and Opulent Temple

Two long anticipated events are making their debut tomorrow: Watchmen the movie and Opulent Temple Massive.

Watchmen , for those of you that aren’t familiar with it, is a Marvel movie which is part action, part drama, all fantasy/sci fi.   Diehard fans: this movie is coming out tonight at midnight.

Watchmen is a comic book that was illustrated by Dave Gibbons and written by Alan Moore.  Director Zach Snyder and screen writers David Hayter and Alex Tse transformed this great comic into an awesome film.

“Watchmen” is set in an alternate 1985 America in which costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everyday society, and the “Doomsday Clock” – which charts the USA’s tension with the Soviet Union – is permanently set at five minutes to midnight. When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the washed up but no less determined masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes. As he reconnects with his former crime-fighting legion – a ragtag group of retired superheroes, only one of whom has true powers – Rorschach glimpses a wide-ranging and disturbing conspiracy with links to their shared past and catastrophic consequences for the future. Their mission is to watch over humanity… but who is watching the Watchmen?” (quote from imdb. )

This movie is rated R and runs for 163 minutes.

Second most awesome thing on my to do list is Opulent Temple Massive.  This amazing event is sponsored by, you guessed it, Opulent Temple Massive. . It will be held on Treasure Island from 9 pm until 4 am.  The event will be presenting the famous Carl Cox and over 30 spectacular djs.   Tickets are $40 and 100% of the proceeds go to Opulent Temple’s aspirations for ’09. I had gotten my ticket a month in advance and I peeing my pants in excitement. This is going to be the shit.

Have a great Friday mis amigos.

Crackweaselenespanol == deleted

I am a budding writer. Blogging takes a great deal of mental energy let alone trying to keep up with two new blogs.

I wanted to write a spanish version of crackweasel.wordpress.com but there are minor translating complications, many involving tech terms. It also seems that it would be easier to write up entirely new spanish posts rather than translate old english ones. I am expending far more energy than I would like to on crackweaselenespanol.wordpress.com right now so I am getting rid of that blog and keeping this one instead.

I am sorry and I hope you enjoy the rest of my blogs.

My method of blogging: weird or awesome?

I was encouraged to write about how I blog because it is an odd concept. Most people, when they want to write a blog either 1) pick up a pen and paper and start jotting ideas or 2) they grab their laptop and type furiously while trying to keep up with their overflowing thoughts. And if they are lucky enough, they blast out page after page of amazing stories that are then ready to be shared with the world. I, on the other hand, employ a completely different method. If you sit me in front of a computer or give me physical writing materials, I will probably only produce a couple lines of ideas and that is it. I thought I was abnormally lazy or had a lifetime’s worth of writer’s block but I never had trouble telling friends my awesome adventures. A couple days ago, I was thinking about how much I text and how twitter helps me compile my ideas together so I figured I would try texting out my blog. Oddly enough, it worked. I type about 130-140 characters per text, send it to my email and then paste the content to my blog. This process seems a bit roundabout and is not very RESTful. It also sucks that my phone will not let me send larger texts to my phone but hell, it gets the job done. This new found ingenious outlet has made me extremely giddy and I hope to be blasting out plenty awesomeness. I hope you enjoy my absurd stories. Also, Happy Square Root Day!